Blown Out of My Comfort Zone
Life is what it is no matter who you are or how you have planned to live your life. Two weeks ago I blogged about my comfort zone and today I am writing about being blown out of it. No literary exaggeration here. Friday morning I was blown out of my comfort zone. I went to the dentist because of a very small chip that I discovered on the back of a front tooth. I felt completely numb during the ride home. Not really knowing it then, I was in a state of mental and emotional shock. It was milder than it would have been even a few years ago. Deep inside there was and is a calmness emanating from the depths of my being, from my very soul. I was facing major dental work on four front teeth not just the one front tooth with a chip in it. My teeth are not quite as old as I am because I had baby teeth first, right? These things happen as teeth age. I can do this. I'll just call my financial advisor for help with the smart way to proceed. Right? I can do this because it is what is best for my health and ongoing wellbeing, right?
I even slept well Friday night. Good thing because shortly after breakfast on Saturday my mental and emotional walls crumbled big time. I began to feel the effects of having been blown out of my comfort zone with no warning. I had been to the dentist a few months ago for a routine cleaning and exam and things were doing okay. Right? Or so it seemed. Reality can be a hard and relentless task master when you choose to cultivate a desire to be present and aware. My spiritual journey, based in decades of seeking to go deeper in order to live in the present moment with expanding awareness, calls me to know what my true feelings are. Yesterday I was just plain scared. Scared of the physical process I am going to have and scared of how this will affect my financial ability to meet my own needs.
I cried on and off all day Saturday. Hard crying. Overwhelming fear demanded to be felt, acknowledged, owned. I tried being mature and wise. After all, I am a meditation teacher - I know stuff. I can flow with this. Ok, those of you who know me well, are you smiling a little? Or laughing out loud? Not mocking me; your love for me won't allow that. Surprised perhaps. At least until you remember things I have taught and lived before you and with you. The answer when life blows me or any one else out of the comfort zone is "Welcome to the human race."
The gift of knowing yourself is moving through human thought patterns and human emotions, intense as they can be, with a greater amount of ease and grace than you did the last time life relentlessly tried to completely overwhelm you. The journey to each new level of true balance, harmony, and equanimity requires a commitment to your own spiritual practices, your personal journey to higher spiritual awareness of what this human life is about. The ongoing challenge of that journey is to be truly aware of what you believe and how your beliefs affect you when you are given the opportunity to choose between reacting and responding to life, to being human.
One of my core beliefs is that I am a spiritual being having a human experience. I am here to learn how to be a loving and compassionate human being. When I am able to be that, even in the most difficult times, I am manifesting the Divine Presence of God in this material world.
Love and compassion emanate from the Divine Spark that enlivens a person - mentally, emotionally, physically. This happens naturally, without my "trying," when I am faithful to what works for me. I witness this in others as well, no matter what church they attend, what religion defines their journey & practices, and even if they choose none of these. Their love and compassion toward themselves and others is the manifestation of a Divine Presence in this material universe, in their world and in my world.
Being settled into my own being enough to write this morning is a gift to me. It is Divine Love showing me that what I believe and practice continues to create a foundation that allows me to appreciate my journey as I allow myself as a spiritual being who is fully human.
Whew! Being blown out of my comfort zone is uncomfortable. It also brings me clarity and gratitude for the gifts it brings as I settle back into the stillness of my Soul. I am grateful for my many teachers who have helped me on this journey to Stillness. My heart's desire is to live in and from this place and no other. God be with you and bless you in your spiritual journey to wholeness. Let me know if you desire a loving, compassionate guide on your journey.
Contact me with questions, appointment requests, or whatever is on your mind and heart: [email protected] Please consider joining my online meditation groupπ
